Kissing can be daunting and uncomfortable at first, but can become exciting and memorable over time.
Decisions on when and how to kiss must be made with care and trust in yourself and your feelings. Relationships develop at different paces, so not everyone may be ready for kisses immediately.
1. Make eye contact.
Eye contact is an integral component of communication with others, helping individuals better understand each other while increasing empathy and compassion – attributes which promote social cohesion.
Listening more intently during conversations increases the chance that any misunderstandings will be cleared up quickly and efficiently.
Eye contact shows someone that you are engaged and interested in what they have to say, while simultaneously signalling confidence and trustworthiness – two vital qualities in relationships.
Note, however, that some individuals – particularly neurodivergent people – can find eye contact too stimulating and need time alone when gathering thoughts or processing what they hear. You might see them look away when needing time alone to process what they heard.
2. Make sure you’re relaxed.
Kissing can be an intimate act and it may feel awkward at first. But kissing can also be a powerful way to break the tension between couples and make them more at ease with one another.
If you find yourself feeling nervous on a date, be honest with them and explain that you are. Chances are they’re also feeling the same and want to help ease into their moment together.
An effective way to do this is by closing your eyes and concentrating on breathing and your partner; this will allow you to avoid looking at distracting blurs while relaxing more fully.
When the time comes for you two to share their first kiss, take your time and move slowly – this will ensure both of you feel more at ease and prevent embarrassing face-crush moments.
Another effective strategy for making sure you feel at ease during an encounter is paying attention to their body language and touching them gently before initiating a kiss. This shows them you’re interested and they may be ready for it!
3. Don’t be afraid to lean in.
Kissing is one of the most intimate activities a couple can engage in together, so to ensure an optimal experience for both of you, it’s key that you find ways to position your body appropriately for kissing.
Andrea Demirjian, author of Kissing: Everything You Ever Needed to Know About One of Life’s Sweetest Pleasures advises not being afraid to lean in when approaching for a kiss. Doing this allows both partners the opportunity to communicate when it’s appropriate to exchange kisses as well as providing clear signals as to when both of you want it to end.
Once you’ve leaning in and closing your eyes before kissing, this will allow your partner to anticipate what might come next, making for an enhanced kissing experience.
4. Don’t be afraid to kiss.
Kissing can be one of the most intimate and exhilarating experiences you have with another, yet can quickly turn awkward if done without proper caution, particularly on first encounter.
However, fear of kissing doesn’t need to stop you. By working to ease nerves and ensure you’re prepared for each kissing encounter before going in for one – you could find success kissing!
If you find yourself feeling anxious, try using breathing techniques to relax your body and ease anxiety levels and reduce symptoms associated with Philemaphobia (fear of kissing).
If your feelings of fear do not disappear on their own, professional help should be sought. A therapist can help identify its origin and help you overcome it, while suggesting strategies such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation to keep the anxiety at bay.